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Can Online Dating Really Work?
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Is it possible to find love online? I didn't think so at one time, now I'm cautiously optimistic. As a woman in my thirties, reentering the dating scene after years of marriage, the new dating arena was intimidating. Limited dating experience combined ...
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I have been receiving emails from my readers asking: "Is there a list of online dating services that are completely free?" The truth is, that of the online dating services that I have tried and reviewed, none of them are completely free. There may be some ...
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If youre on a first date and youre trying to figure out what Mr. or Ms. Potentially Right thinks about you, look downward.
Not there, silly.
The key to a mans heart isnt his stomach. Its his feet, says Lisa Daily, author of Stop Getting Dumped! (Subtitle: All You Need to Know to Make Men Fall Madly in Love With You and Marry The One in 3 Years or Less.)
As it turns out, the foot rule also applies to women.
Watch the feet of the person youre attracted to, she tips AdamandDrew.com. People who are attracted to each other subconsciously try to line up with the other person. Where the toes point, the heart follows.
When you take the Sherlock Holmes approach to reading your date, trying to sleuth out whether he/she thinks youre hot (or not), body language is the smoking gun, my dear Watson.
Even if weve got our game faces on, the body doesnt lie, Daily says.
In fact, studies reveal that only 7% of our communication is verbal, according to Mari Smith, a relationship coach based in San Diego, California. The other 93% is nonverbal.
Tips & Clues
Men send out the following tips when theyre interested in you, according to Daily and Smith: - Smiling.
- Extended eye contact.
- Grooming behaviors (straightening their ties, pulling up their socks).
- Upright stance or posture.
- Standing with their chests thrust outward and shoulders back (think of a giant preening peacock).
- Ego-driven comments about their successes in life (jobs, cash, their cars).
He may have one hand in his pocket, with his thumb sticking out, or tuck his thumbs in his belt, Smith adds.
As for the so-called fairer sex, look for the following nonverbal cues from a woman: - Extended eye contact and smiling (just like men).
- Leaning inward or toward you.
- Exposing her neck, hands or palms.
- Flipping her hair (with her hands or a twist of the head) or twirling it playfully.
- Crossing and uncrossing her legs.
- Fondling cylindrical objects like the stem of a wine glass, straw, pen or cigarette. (Paging Dr. Freud)
Houston, We Have a Problem
For both sexes, there are also signs that things are not going well, says Daily, who notes that distasteful dates, traumatic breakups and consequent crisis periods often call for a few Nora Ephron movies and two tubes of frozen cookie dough eaten right out of the package.
Look for speech patterns that are wildly out of sync. Hes a slow talker, while shes a thousand-words-a-minute, she says.
Defensive body languagearms crossed in front of the chest or hands subconsciously protecting the groin area.
Someone who keeps looking over your shoulder while you speak.
When someone is not interested in you, they will typically point their body and feet
away from you and position themselves at a greater distance, Smith adds.
Saying Goodnightor Saying Goodbye?
As your date winds down, other cues foreshadow your relationships future.
If you give your date a hug on the doorstep and he or she pats you on the back, its a sign of discomfort, Daily says. The more uncomfortable your date feels, the bigger the pat. The other obvious, not-so-great sign is going in for the doorstep kissand getting a handshake instead. (Ouch!)
Positive signals are much easier to read: a concrete invitation for a second date, with firm plansnot just lets do this again or Ill call you sometime, Daily says.
The Flirt Factor
Flirting with your dateand being on the receiving endmeets Sherlocks criteria for irrefutable evidence that your lovely evening may evolve into a bona fide relationship.
Daily takes it one step further, asserting that flirting is absolutely necessary.
Flirting is how we communicate our interestand how we connect emotionally before we connect physically, she says. Generally, flirting is harmless, but it can sometimes be interpreted incorrectly by the flirtee. The key is to pay attention to the tone of the flirtation and wait to see how the flirter responds if you try to take it up a notch. If she backs down, she was probably just flirting for fun. If she escalates the flirting in turn, shes communicating interest.
Use attitude, voice and body synchronization to make others feel like they have a special rapport with you, advises Nicholas Boothman, a communication specialist and author of How to Make Someone Love You Forever in 90 Minutes or Less. He encourages those he counsels to learn to accessand rev upyour sex appeal, without going over the top.
Translation?
Create chemistry by mirroring your partners physical presence and verbal behavior.
When you synchronize your overall body language, your tone, the speed and volume of your voice, and even the type of words you useas well as your attitudepeople feel safe, familiar and trusting with you, he tells AdamandDrew.com.
Smith believes women have the edgeand a lot more funwhen it comes to flirting. (Sorry, guys)
Playful, lighthearted behavior is really the domain of women, she says, and typically men love it and gravitate toward the woman who looks the most fun. It certainly pays to familiarize yourself with all of the signs of attraction so you know how and when to communicate interestand make sure youre sending the right message!
About The Author
Joe Markus
Adam and Drew's Dating Tips has a large variety of free articles that have been written by consulting 'experts' in the dating, flirting and relationship fields. Find out more at http://www.adamanddrew.com
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